Final
Exam
all students
will be required to pass this exam before
being granted
their AA degree
Instructions: Read each question carefully. Complete
all questions.
Time
limit: 2 hours. Begin immediately.
History:
Describe the history of Science from its origins to the present
day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social,
political, economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe,
Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.
Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a
piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix.
Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen
minutes.
Public Speaking: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming
the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except
Latin or Greek.
Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent
human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years
earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the
English Parliamentary System. Prove your thesis.
Music: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform
it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
Psychology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate
the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations
of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisis, Rameses II,
Hammuarabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each
man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary
to translate.
Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems which might
accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test
your theory.
Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle
have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction
manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry bengal tiger
will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel necessary.
Be prepared to justify your decision.
Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the
national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the
following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave
Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these effects.
Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point
out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in
your answer to the last question.
Political Science: There is a red telephone on the desk
beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political
effects if any.
Epistemology: Take a position for or against truth.
Prove the validity of your stand.
Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your
answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics
on Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer
an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics
on science.
Philosophy: Sketch the development of human thought.
Estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any
other kind of thought.
General Knowledge: Describe in detail. Be objective and
specific.
(ps. In case there
is some reader who might not have caught on yet that this exam
is a joke, well, it is.)